Sunday, March 4, 2012

Broke up

The first thing you remember each time you broke up with someone is your best friends. when you are in love, you tend to ignore them, but when love doesn't come to you, you want them soo badly.
It's not easy at all, god is always always watching. The amount of being found out by my family makes me REALLY believe that god REALLY exist.

I can't stand the pressure at home no more. Being in Alor star make me think of him, everywhere i go, i hear his footsteps. so, i made one final decission, left him once and for all. My family loathe him. In my lifetime now, there are three people that are blacklisted from my family. Two are girls(don't bother asking why) The pain to see that he is now blacklisted too, it's best that he find his own happiness instead of suffering it with me.
i delete, i deleted everything. and i want to go to College, going to study something that i LIKE, will make me concentrate on it and forget about LOVE.

All those promises are broken. He will hate me i know. i've already hate myself for bringing you into my FUCK UP life. There is no fate between us no more. If there's really fate, how come i don't bump into you? How come you don't appear out of nowhere? no, we don't have fate and we must accept the fact that our future together is a BLACK HOLE.

here's Ann how to tell herself to forget the horrendous pain she had right now

  •  I bought Liese bubble hair colour, i'm going to try it today to keep me distracted
  • i'm going to be a couch potato
  • i'm going to do more research on Singapore Polytech since it offer Music and Audio technology
  • I'm going to be excited over SPM result day
  • i'm going to make mental notes over career guidance,where i wanna be in the future and how much would i get
  • i'm going to socialize more, by talking and chatting makes me happy

forget about Canon G12 or Lumix gf-2.. if i'm going to singapore to study, i might need that money badly. and guess what, they really CONSIDER enrolling me into International College of Music (ICOM)!!!!!!!
shit..that is my DREAM college..getting in is like a DREAM COME TRUE...T.T

one thing for sure, if i continue to stick around here, dead alor star, i will constantly think of him, constantly think of the cage i'm living in, and constantly think of what FUCK up life i have.

there..i'm now single but NOT available.


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