Angry

I get my full February pay today, and guess what? i get sooooo F*king piss off today. It's ENOUGH that they didn't let me buy a smartphone, i can understand that maybe they don't know how to open it when they check on my phone. BUT CAMERA!?!?!?!?!

like seriously, what can camera do? sent text messages and make phone calls? *sarcastic*

This is my 15 yrs old picture.

cried just now after bursting out at the unfairness of my urge of buying a new semi-pro camera for camwhoring. Its my own money! mY HARD PAY WORK, i didn't ask for any god damn of your money! I SAVE MY MONEY FOR A REASON! FOR A PURPOSE!!! and what has become of it? for nothing? for college purpose? that's all crap, i WILL NEVER go to college! BECAUSE YOU GUYS just COULDNT TRUST ME AT ALL!!!

This is the book that i'm reading. Bible of numbers that count of your destiny and stuff..

whatever, i really feel horrible. Like soo piss off and sooooo

i don't even know having a boyfriend is a CRIME. I DON"T KNOW THAT!! I thought as long as SPM is over, i'm 18, this is OKAY!

but i didn't know it's wrong, so when you told me that why i always create problem, it's because I DON"T KNOW i'm creating problem!! I thought it is FINE!!!It's NORMAL, but no, conservative thinking makes them think i'm going to get myself pregnant or something..

I LOATHE my MESSY LIFE!! I LOATHE IT!!! ALL I WANT TO DO IS JUST GET OUT OF THIS!! BE SOMEONE ELSE!!!

my stats. pretty cool though but i'm still targeting 300 viewers per day. guess i have to work hard on it.

this is what happen to a girl locked up in her house for more than 3 yrs. yeap, now you're worrying what would happen when you let me get out of the house. You worry i go crazy because i got the taste of freedom which i HAD NEVER tasted it before. this is what happen, THIS IS WHAT HAPPEN..

DO YOU THINK I"M SOOOO BLOODY STUPID..

you said i'm naive, you pity i'm soooo gullible, easily cheated.

YOU TREAT ME LIKE A CHILD!

I HATE IT!! I HATE HATE HATE HATE IT!..

words cannot describe my feeling, i'm no longer a child!

i hate my life, i hate it sooo much, its like everything i do, THEY are the one that plan it all for me. Can't for once i made MY OWN decission??

oh yeah, nobody can EVER understand my story. A girl who was grounded at home, with no handphone, no hang out, no fb for 2++ yrs, no internet for 1++yrs, ..they say i created the problem myself, good, and their punnishment for me is Too extreme.

and one stupid question asked "why do you need camera for!!?"

" TO SNAP MY FACE!"

their own daughter, they don't even know what i like.. I told them i want to be a famous blogger, what is their reaction? *blank*

nothing, and you said i didn't want to let them know me better.

You don't even give a damn! you don't even want to know what the hell is that. and all you care is your face of what would happen if i posted indecent picture up facebook. INDECENT?!? did i show my cleavage? NO, did i reveal any parts that a bikini doesn't cover? NO!!!! 

I'm so sick of it..SO SICK! If my sister is reading this, can she even comprehend what i want to say? WHAT I AM FEELING NOW?

no!

coz nobody ever does!!!

the answer is all nononononono

my FUCKING LIFE IS SOOOO MESSED UP!

is enough that you took away my teenage years, i'm growing up to be a woman, so treat me like ONE!!! don't ever say that i have just create a problem, that problem if viewed by million of other parents, they don't call it a PROBLEM at all.

BUT FINE, you made the rules, i have to obey it, but don't because of that, continue to tighten my freedom.

IT"S ENOUGH ALREADY! IMMA GROWING CRAZIER AND CRAZIER EACH DAY.

I"M 18!!!!!!!

EIGHTEEN! EIGHTEEN!!!!

enough is enough

xoxo

Ann