Wednesday, January 22, 2014

how to accept that your boyfriend is unromantic

I don't know what makes me want to post this
but it is time for me to put on my own personal thoughts on my blog 
(it's been ages since i actually rant something here)

Let's face it, GIRLS are just being girls. If you're a girl you're probably love having those romantic moments occasionally.
okay , i wouldn't say that most girls would like their boys 24 hours sending them strings of love notes~
but let's face it, we love the thrill if they surprise us unexpectedly with flowers 
or love quotes that would melt butter within seconds~

okay, let's get back to topic

I wouldn't say my boyfriend is romantic. Maybe it's because of his horoscope or something
(Do you guys actually believe in this kinda thing?)
he's a Taurus , and like most Taurus they are more practical and stubborn
nope, not a hint of romantic personality in his blood
unlike me , i'm a Libra and yes, it's in my nature to crave for something romantic and i am a romantic person too. 

i used to pout and sulk when he walks across the road without holding my hand
"Dar, why won't you hold my hand? ) : "
sometimes i wish when i open my eyes early in the morning, i would receive a surprise text from him saying how much he feels for me or something. 
sometimes i wish that he suddenly stops and look at me and say something romantic

but then, well, i have to accept the fact that he is not that romantic~
(still i doubt that, because my cat friend who is a Taurus sounds quite romantic to his gf though~hmm)

How to accept the fact that your boyfriend is unromantic?

1. Look at his other good side
-right, he may be unromantic but he may have other good points too. Look at which personality of him that makes you happy. Is it his humorous way? his honesty? his gentleness? (that sounds a bit gay right?) 

When you're feeling envious about other people's boyfriend showering his love to his girlfriend in front of you, why not think of things that your boyfriend did that makes you happy other than being affectionate? 

well i think about how he always fetches me here and there, running a few of my errands just because i'm lazy, buying me food after food when i complain i'm hungry, carrying my bag, buying me gifts for important dates, and going where ever i wish to go !

i may sound a bit hypocrite here, but i use to compare my boy with other boys and told him that i want him to be this, i want him to be that, and lastly i'm the one getting the disappointment because let's face it, HE IS JUST NOT BORN WITH THAT. Then after a few minutes of silence, i get my head thinking of how he still willing to do lots of things for me despite how hard it is and that makes me forget everything that i hope he will have . 

2. Be romantic first
- Some people may differ, but if you're romantic first i think eventually your other half will response romantically back to you. i mean naturally if you ask him out for a candle light dinner and ask him to dress his best, surely he knows that this is something ought to be romantic about? You don't need to wait for anniversary or monthsary dates. A surprise date would put up the mood. Why let him plan first when you're hoping and hoping in silence over there? in return , surely he will think of something to liven up the mood right? (even if he's not romantic, he surely has a brain to know that this is something you are expecting in return)

- like in some cases, you may like to write something for him saying how much you appreciate him and how much you think of him. Let's face it, if you didn't write something out like that, will your unromantic boyfriend do something like that out of the blue? nope, but if you wrote something out to him, he will reply you back the same way. there is no denying that he will just sent a three letter words saying "thank you babe". 
If he's a good boyfriend, of course he'll sent you something worth your love notes ( : 

3.Open up to him, tell him what you want
-I don't know for some girls, but gah, when we're mad or sad at something we tend to remain silent. Whatever we are upset about , we tend not to tell it out (especially to that people who make us feel this way!) guys, just accept that we really have no feelings to talk about it until we get our head straight. so don't be mad at us!

-but after that don't bring this situation to your door: 
"What's the problem? why are you so upset about ?" boy asked
"nothing" girl replied
~End of story~ the boy do not know what is his problem or what the girl wants, and the girl will probably ended up sad again when he continues to upset her without realizing it. 

- i think honest confession of your feelings is quite important . i tell my boyfriend EVERYTHING. if i'm mad at the whole world, mad at a wall, mad at a cucumber, he be the first to know it. SO if i'm mad at him, i stay silent awhile (natural reaction, because if i reply him i probably burst out into tears (i'm such a water sprout)

and if i am hoping something, i just tell him. 
"Dar, can you be more romantic please ? " (i think i sounded harsh here but this is how straight forward i get to him, but he's understanding) 

if you open up to him, he understands what you want, he try to give it to you. 
but then again, personality wise, after a few tryouts , this thing tend to fade unless you keep reminding him to be romantic, that will just be like nagging, so it is , of course, bad news.  haha so good luck on that =.=

4. DON"T EXPECT TOO MUCH,  Just accept the fact that he is NEVER going to be THAT romantic
-Well it's in nature, and by nature, you don't change it's cause. If you try to change him, he turn out to be not HIMself at all, and it's unfair for him to live his life according to what you want and not what he wants. Even if he try to change for the better of the whole relationship, well, in the end his old habit die hard and eventually this whole thing will repeat  again and you be facing the same old unromantic boyfriend. so why change when he's going to be springing back and forth according to what you want?
~Still, if you're seeking for a romantic relationship, find some Libra horoscope guy~ haha

till then i still be crossing the road with this same old question to my boyfriend again
"Dar, why won't you hold my hand?"

Ps: I am not responsible of giving any professional advice, this is all my own opinions, so if you don't like whatever i'm saying here or some may not be agreeable to whatever your opinions are, don't display hatred towards me  but leave my blog platform please ( : 


xoxo
Ann





45 comments:

  1. Hi ann! Haha this post does relate to me in some ways.. My bf can be quite unromantic too. XD but he occassionally surprises me with other things he does, he's willing to fetch me wherever I wanna go, he makes me laugh and all.. And so I've learnt to accept that he won't be as romantic as I hope he'll be but he's just as sweet :) I think the main thing is to love and accept each other and you're right, nagging won't help. As long as you're happy, that's all that matters :) Stay sweet w your boy!

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    1. awwwh! i think sweet and romantic is some sort related too. thanks so much for the comment ( : it's good to hear your side of the story too (:

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  2. hahaha..
    not all libra guys seem so romance too.. ^^
    just mostly will :)

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    1. ahahaha yes i agree that not all, but by majority it's stated in the books. hhaha

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  3. hello! i actually commented my opinion just now but i don't know why it didn't appear. anyways, i am an unromantic person while my bf is. Personally, i think it is because i just feel that what i feel inside matters more than expressing it out. Maybe i am just shy or just being me, an unromantic person. When i receive flowers, i just said thank you while i was jumping inside. I always thought that as long as i love him, he will feel it. so it is not necessary to show it out. However, this is the cause of misunderstanding. I learned that i should at least show/express some feelings instead of keeping them inside me. I took a pretty long time to learn and i finally get it! So, i think your bf is learning but it takes patience and time. :)

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    1. wow , thanks for hearing your story too! yes i somehow agree with you that maybe it depends on whether you wan to express it out or not ( : thanks for the comment

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  4. Omg I love this post! I totally agree with your #3! Whenever I get upset I just shut the whole world out. My boyfriend will keep asking me "What's wrong?" but I'll just keep quiet because you know that feeling that when you start talking you'll just end up crying? Yup I get that. So I won't reply him because I don't want to burst into tears in front of me. But then the boyfriend will start thinking that I'm ignoring him and he's the reason why I'm upset, when most of the time I'm mad at something else and not him. Hahaha. But of course once I've calmed down I'll tell him what made me upset and all's well that ends well :)

    My boyfriend is really sweet too, he gives me surprises and sends me sweet good morning/night messages every single day, but also being a Taurus guy, he has those days when he doesn't express his feelings as much too! But I totally accept and understand that. Even though sometimes he isn't as affectionate as I expect him to be, I know being with him is the best thing in the world, and I accept him for who he is :)

    Hope you have a sweeter and happy relationship with your boy! xx

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    1. oh wow! we are so both in common! i'm glad mine is same with others too! really! thanks for sharing your side of the story ! (: this really makes my day! thank you

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    2. Hahaha. Yeah! All guys and all relationships are different :) Glad I made your day!

      Btw I nominated you for the Liebster Award! :)

      (You can ignore the other comment I've posted, I didn't see you've replied here before I sent that :P)

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  5. I've had ex boyfriends that were not romantic and I felt that I had to suck it up and accept it, but the truth is I don't believe you do. If someone doesn't make you happy enough or they don't do the things you want them to do, there is no sense in trying to change them. IMO you can either change yourself, or find a better person. In my case I found a better person and I have never been happier. I say never settle for less than what you want. Never convince yourself you're happy with less than you deserve. I think many Asian girls are too quiet and put up with less than they deserve.

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  6. This post is funny! My husband is awesome, but not romantic either. He's trying to be for me which make things kind of interesting.Thank you for your sweet comment and yes,I styled the dress into a skirt! Would you like to follow each other on instagram?
    http://www.fabuloustorture.blogspot.com

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  7. A brilliant post! I am probably the one to be blamed for not being romantic enough…
    www.minsbeautyequipment.com

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  8. I think when a BF who is not sweet suddenly makes a surprise effort, it makes it all the more romantic. Like my BF, he is not romantic (not in the least) but I still remember when I texted him that my earphones had broke, and when I got home, he had got me new ones =) When your BF does make an effort, it will feel more sincere!

    Thank you for commenting, see you again soon

    - Che

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  9. ohhhhh so special and cute pic
    lovely
    thanks about your visit and coment
    kisses

    www.thechicmode.com

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  10. Hahaha I laughed as I read this post because just too coincidence my bf is also something 'special'! I totally feel you; how I want to hold hands with him but he just wanders his eyes around shops and walks; and I don't want to initiate the holding hands so I'm frustrated deep inside! It;s actually very funny between myself. He is a seesaw, one minute he is totally a sweetheart and clings and the next minute he is a free bird. Me and bf's star sign is like sky and ground, (he is an insensitive air element and I'm a sensitive water) he is a social party and I'm an introvert-- but trust me; star signs won't matter anymore as you spend years with him. This romantic-unromantic relationship is the best! You would feel it someday later when you've passed years with your bf that one side needs to be unromantic because too much romantic sickens. (it might sounds weird but trust me it is not!) :D And I agree with you; confession is everything. I told everything to bf though but sometimes I was set aside off so it kind of hurted me XD but it is not about the insensitive and unromantic guy, it's just them! They accept us, so it's our turn to accept them the way they are. So live your life and love each other happily! All the best to both of you. XX

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  11. this is such a cute post but very helpful! I have to admit my husband when we were dating he wasnt the most romantic only coz he was clueless and didnt know what to do ( culture thing) but over the years he has changed. Im so happy with what i have!

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  12. some guys don't like the public direct attention, which I understand. My boyfriend doesn't buy me flowers and shower me with compliments all the time, but I know he cares. and honestly I've had the over-bearing love where the guy was just too much with compliments and doing things for you all the time and always asking if you're okay, I'd rather have the opposite :)

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  13. hehe number 3 is so true and so is number 4. Some guys just can;t be romantic and we can't expect too much of him (although some guys are adorable... like the ones in the dramas hehe)
    I don't know if I am a romantic person, but I want my bf to be!!

    http://www.mybrokeneggshells.com

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  14. I'm here again! Haha sorry :P I'm just here to inform you that I nominated you for the Liebster Award! Cheers :) xx

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  15. Awwh it seems like you and your boyfriend have a really good relationship since you guys can be so open with each other! If I were you, I would grab onto his hand and not let go. hehehe. :P Cute post!! ^^

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  16. Hi dear!!:) I've just discovered your blog and it is amazing!!
    Have a really nice weekend!!
    Come to see mine, and my new post "Get lucky"
    http://peaceinmyshoes.blogspot.com.es/

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  17. It was a real pleasure to read this post! :)
    My boyfriend is not maybe as romantic as I am (well, I am girl, I guess that explains things :D ), but he is very, very thoughtful, he always notices when something is up & tries to cheer me up with silly nonsense.
    On Christmas he got me a blow dryer ( a present not every girl would have dreamed of! :D ), but he noticed that I was always complaining about my old one & how it was damaging my hair etc! :D

    www.callmemaddie.com

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  18. This is such a great post with the most delightful advice, I am not a romantic myself, so many of these actually apply to me! Have an enjoyable weekend dear Ann

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  19. Nice post! Follow you and I wait on my blog!

    Kisses!

    http://www.blogsocute.com
    http://www.blogsocute.com

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  20. That picture is so cute and I think I am really lucky because my boyfriend is quite romantic :)

    www.kindoflovely.com

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  21. You offer excellent advice on dealing with this Ann! My mom is a Taurus and she's not very creative at all. HaHaHa They are very good providers, so he would make a great husband.
    http://www.averysweetblog.com/

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  22. Haha you're so true! <3
    http://www.princesskonakei.com/

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  23. This is very unusual and unique post because not many girls are so open when it comes to dealing with not romantic guys. Great advices!
    ✌ blog

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  24. I faced this...I couldn't take it and I just broke up. I should have read the post before haha

    we can follow each other! ;)

    http://styleonmel.blogspot.com/2014/01/parking_8.html

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  25. soooo agree love your thoughts!! we should accept him no matter how unromantic he is as long as we love him <3

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  26. Love the tips in here! Some guys just can't be that romantic because they think it's too ~cheesy~ or maybe it'll make them feel less manly. But then again, guys have some sort of way to prove how much they love their girl -- sometimes, it might be small gesture, no flowers or chocolates, but a simple kiss on the cheek, or offering you your favorite food on a bad day.

    Communication is also the greatest key to a successful relationship. :)

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  27. this is such a cute post! i agree with you 100% :)
    http://saltskinned.blogspot.com.au

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  28. lovely blog!
    following u<3

    www.bstylevoyage.blogspot.com
    xx

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  29. Haha, my boyfriend is exactly the same!

    I've just accepted it, if I want something nice doing I have to tell him. Sometimes takes the fun out of it, but then again I get exactly what I asked for!

    To be fair, he has gotten slightly better.

    Hmm maybe...

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  30. love reading your blog, It's very refreshing and genuine and I really appreciate that :)
    anyway, would you like to follow each other?

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    ReplyDelete
  31. Mmm these have some very good points! (: Glad you are keeping it positive

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  32. I love your blog
    followed
    http://minimaysi.blogspot.co.uk/

    ReplyDelete
  33. i guess its just human nature.. or also, they have other ways to be romantic.. ways surprising and sweeter!
    thanks for dropping by my blog.. following you now ^_^

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  34. guys need to take note on some hints XD

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  35. amazing colors! you look so cute!
    http://fetish-tokyo.blogspot.com/

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  36. i'm a pisces and my zodiac says that i'm a hopeless romantic. unluckily my boyfriend is not and that becomes the problem. i have tried open communication with specific examples of what he should be doing but he still doesn't get it and asks me what he should do. we're currently on a break to figure things out but in the back of my mind i just want to quit. i can never change him and i can not live with him being unromantic. who can?

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  37. OMG this is really what happened to me and my bf. except ive already told him about how i feel but he hasnt changed since :( he's really fine when he's with me, but when he's not he never does anything romantic. when im out the town for couple months, i even asked him to wrote me a love letter and he forgot :"( i dont know what i have to do because i keep compare him to my romantic ex, eventhough i dont say anything about it to him :( help..

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  38. Well I've been going such a problem right now.my guy is completely unromantic and I'm just the opposite.this thing about me makes me expect more from him. But nothing as such happens it hurts but can't help it. But one thing that disappoints me the most is that he doesn't even make an effort. Well since its been 4 years to us I've just accepted that fact.

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  39. Even I've got the same issue.it's been 4 years to us n he's still so unromantic but we do sleep with each other. He's so damn unromantic n it disappoints me a alot because he doesn't even make an attempt. I know guys were the same like him(unromantic ) but then slowly and steadily they did things for their girls. And this thing turns me alot that he doesn't do the same. He's always been like this. 4 years of relationship and all I hve is a teddy bear and a quick recipe book

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thanks for posting up comments ( : i will pay you a visit