it's been ages since i updated what i felt. its mostly about me blabbering about reviews and my traveling trip that i forgotten what my blog was all about. my feelings.
i've been feeling a bit moody and probably left out. ever since starting my new school in this new environment, i just couldn't feel that i belong. most of them are old friends from my previous school, but as usual, you don't just clique along with them. they do not want you to budge too deep into their private stuff either.
so, i'm probably just like a wallpaper? sometimes i just sat there while most of them chat animatedly with themselves. i just can't blend in, i don't know what's wrong with me. somebody ask me to be neutral, yup, i AM neutral.
another thing was that, i'm so afraid of people judging me
nobody wants to be hated right? so if i found out that somebody dislike me or something, i really got to know what's wrong with me so that i can correct it, i want to make myself likable!
but one thing i don't understand is, why can't they just clique off with me? what's wrong with me?
everytime i felt like there's always a boundary between us.
people are straight forward.
a girl once told me "excuse me, can you go to other place because we're a group here and we want to discuss about something"
never in my life had i heard such words from someone so "courteous"
i've only felt that i belong in a clique for the past two years with my dear besties. and now they are far far away, and i can't get use of living in such an odd atmosphere.
people's gonna judge you
and how far will i strech.
an inch? a mile?
I'm sensitive, i receive loads of feedback that i am an overly sensitive girl, i can think of one thing for a million stray thoughts.
so i guess people would just ask me to shut up and just ignore whatever bullshit other people think of me. (negatively)
ignorant is bliss
i get it, but it's hard for me to do that.
hopefully, i hope i try~~