Sunday, December 23, 2012

from the bottom of my heart

it's been ages since i updated what i felt. its mostly about me blabbering about reviews and my traveling trip that i forgotten what my blog was all about. my feelings.

i've been feeling a bit moody and probably left out. ever since starting my new school in this new environment, i just couldn't feel that i belong. most of them are old friends from my previous school, but as usual, you don't just clique along with them. they do not want you to budge too deep into their private stuff either.
so, i'm probably just like a wallpaper? sometimes i just sat there while most of them chat animatedly with themselves. i just can't blend in, i don't know what's wrong with me. somebody ask me to be neutral, yup, i AM neutral.

another thing was that, i'm so afraid of people judging me
nobody wants to be hated right? so if i found out that somebody dislike me or something, i really got to know what's wrong with me so that i can correct it, i want to  make myself likable!




but one thing i don't understand is, why can't they just clique off with me? what's wrong with me?
everytime i felt like there's always a boundary between us.
people are straight forward. 

a girl once told me "excuse me, can you go to  other place because we're a group here and we want to discuss about something" 

never in my life had i heard such words from someone so "courteous"

i've only felt that i belong in a clique for the past two years with my dear besties. and now they are far far away, and i can't get use of living in such an odd atmosphere.
people's gonna judge you
and how far will i strech.
an inch? a mile?

I'm sensitive, i receive loads of feedback that i am an overly sensitive girl, i can think of one thing for a million stray thoughts. 
so i guess people would just ask me to shut up and just ignore whatever bullshit other people think of me. (negatively)

ignorant is bliss
i get it, but it's hard for me to do that.

hopefully, i hope i try~~

xoxo
Ann
*nervous smile*




17 comments:

  1. This happened to me for a while, but bring the two together and you'll love blogging :) it is a great outlet!


    xo
    Sophie Mayanne
    Stop by and check out my blog sometime, I would love to know what you think.

    ReplyDelete
  2. ann i felt that too recently ... i think it is a part of grow up ... be thankful the the people ignored you, because they will make u stronger ... i noe that feeling ... everything is different now ... even the people u used to know ... its ok for being sensitive, we r girls after all ... sometime i sit in the room alone felt like i am the waste of space .. but god will not lock all doors ... u juz have to take some time and soon u'll find a way to overcome this feeling .... talk to someone about this ... it will make u feel better .... feel free to text me i'll always be here for u dear ... -ning-

    ReplyDelete
  3. No one likes to be hated.
    The thing is,we should learn to overcome all these feelings ourselves.
    I once being boycotted and hated publicly during i'm at my last school.
    Now i just learn to be neutral.
    Neutral means easy~if a person still felt tiny things easily,that's not neutral la girl.
    Anyway, good luck,be happy always =)

    ReplyDelete
  4. ann i felt that feeling recently too ... it is not your problem ... juz be yourself ... not even the new friend will have problems ... sometimes, even the one u used to noe too ... being sensitive is ok ... cause we are girls right ... feel free to talk to me bout dis if u u needed to ... text me ... i'll always be beside u my dear ... -ning-

    ReplyDelete
  5. first things first, you have to learn to be okay when you're alone. I learned that when i transferred out of convent. i was always in my clique, so i always felt like i belonged but when i went away, it was hard and i felt the same things you're feeling now. my advice is to not judge yourself too hard and be with the people who would include you in their conversations. don't be with those so-called friends who chat among themselves and leaves you sitting there like a stone. real friends who truly likes you won't ever do that. another thing, you have got to change your mind about being a part of someone's clique, change that and make that into 'having my own circle of friends with people who would want to be there'. dont change yourself to satisfy people, be the way you are and let that honesty attract real friends. those friendship will last. its hard but hey, you'd be okay :) cause look at me, im still in one piece! and really, if you're ever bored being alone, music helps! (not to mention, you can actually make them) so yeah.. love you ann :) even tho we hardly ever talk anymore!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Hi Ann :) I am your new follower too, it's really cool you found me. I would like to cheer you up, because you are young and beautiful, an this things are normal during life, change, move, other people, other places :) Don´t worry, it takes time to get used to the new atmosphere, but be yourself and you will find your way :)<3

    ReplyDelete
  7. Thank you for a nice comment. You are very pretty! I am your new follower, can you follow me back, thank you
    www.impromp-two.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  8. You are very young,
    most of us had a feeling of not belonging,
    but don`t worry,
    all the difficulties will pass away,
    and all you have to do is being yourself,
    not trying to be different.
    Just go for your goals!:)
    You are very cute young girl!:)

    ReplyDelete
  9. I have to go with Annick ^
    Real friends are important
    don't clique with people
    where you don't feel safe
    with. I think it's really
    brave of you to open your
    heart in your blog!
    I hope you feel better
    now and I want to wish you
    a happy holidays!

    xx

    ReplyDelete
  10. Dear Ann, I hope you won't bother with them anymore. You're a nice person and just forget about what they said. They probably do that to others and not just to you so don't feel like they hate you or something. And also, maybe it's better not to aim for others to like you because we can't please everybody and if you do that, you will just always feel bad. We don't want you to self-pity and feel bad. :) So just smile and be yourself. You have us here. (^_^)

    Hope you can visit me again dear!

    ★❤ New post up! (^_^) ❤★
    Skin Food Peach Sake Pore BB Cream SPF20 PA+
    Sharing one of my skin / beauty secrets!

    Ongoing Giveaways!!! (^_^) ♡
    Chai's December Birthday Bash - 1st Giveaway!
    #ChaiChenGiveaways ★ (International)

    ~Chai
    http://chenmeicai.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  11. I like your Blog a lot :)
    Please check out mine :>
    And if you want we can follow each other here !:) ♥
    http://milkwithcoffee.blogspot.de

    ReplyDelete
  12. OMG. We have the same problems! I always want to please others too but I guess we just can't do that. I've read from somewhere that 10% will dislike you but 90% would so let's just dwell on the 90% who do, right?!

    Thanks for visiting my blog.
    I'm following you now. Merry Christmas!! :)
    http://beatricemalveda.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete
  13. Love how you mix n' match everything! Happy Holidays :)

    Visit my blog? xx Miss Beatrix (http://missbeatrix.blogspot.com)

    ReplyDelete
  14. Look beautifully :))
    studded collar ♥

    ReplyDelete
  15. ihope you'll not bother with them anylonger , you are so cute in the first photo <3 i'm following you now , Hope you follow me back Dear xx

    ReplyDelete

thanks for posting up comments ( : i will pay you a visit