Tuesday, December 22, 2015

Fighting to forget

it's going to be the end of year now. 
to think that so much had changed in just such short period of time
when the person you once used to know so deeply had eventually become a stranger

I'm sure nobody knows why i did that, nor when no matter what rumors had flooded into their ear, they just analyse things at their own point of view. 
i can't blame them, what i did was wrong or maybe just plain selfish.

but i chose not to hide, in other words, i made a decision to choose and not be greedy. Being greedy will be even sinful. you can't have two, your heart can only affords for one.
and i'm sure there will be still others waiting for me to fall down and laughed and mockingly tell me " i told you so,"

which in fact, i can't help it they had created this thoughts of theirs because what i did was wrong. you know i used to think that way to somebody else who had did the same thing to my friend. I loathed her for a reason. 
When i'm in her shoes, it's a different story. (well maybe in her case, it's another special reason)

But had they dig deeper and ask why is it that i did that. 
They think it's easy, but no, it's not. 
Up until now i'm still reminiscing. 
Up until now it haunts me in my sleep.
like this morning.. i woke up in tears.
just to realize, maybe it was the memories that matters, not the person anymore. 

and i got my answer now, there's no turning back. i need to focus, i need to pull my strings together and look forward instead of keep going back. 
There's someone there in front of me , but i keep looking back. it's not fair . Not fair for both sides.

move on, girl, just move on. 
No matter how many memories that loops around me all the time, 
how many things i try to clear off but can't because there's just too many in 3 years

i chose this
i had to remind myself from time to time, again and again. 
it's my decision.

He, 
is waiting for me infront. 
Goodbye, past.

xoxo
Ann

4 comments:

  1. he'll never hurt and always by your side.
    Hold on you tight, girl

    ReplyDelete
  2. Sometimes you need to let go of the past. There are far better things in the future for you <3

    xo Azu

    www.raven-locks.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  3. Look forward to bright future! Let's get excited for amazing future! =) (I am working hard to move on too now haiz let's do our best anyway!)

    ReplyDelete
  4. Challenge you to use the service is not easy.

    จีคลับ Online betting sites that everyone can easily play every day. Full of gamblers to give more returns. You can play it all. With simple gambles, good returns. Can play this way. Enjoy and experience the gambling you will like. Gambling is friendly. Gamblers can bet on a simple bet. Make more money with just like or want to bet on good money to play it. To play anywhere, there are more gambling investment games.

    When you come to our website. You will enjoy. There are gamblers who will give you more returns. Do not have to be complicated or want to play the gambling luck where? With a simple gambling. Make more money. Get the good stuff. The player has the most fun betting games. Full of great gambling. To play very easily. Do not have the time, the fun, the convenience, the convenience with the gambler you will like to make more money. Ready to play with fun to play yourself every day to make good money always. บาคาร่า

    ReplyDelete

thanks for posting up comments ( : i will pay you a visit