Friday, June 14, 2013

Trying to be me

i'm almost 19 now,
almost doesn't scream that i'm old~
almost when i figure out what i want and what i don't want. 
i've been abandoning my music since ages, i realize what drills me all these time and rooting for music was just because i didn't have much things to do at home back then. 
i didn't have a mobile phone, i didn't get to online, i can't hang out with my friends,
so the only thing i do is to bang the piano, thrash the guitar and poke fun at my violin or screaming my vocal chords down. 

but then after that when the mobile phone came in, the internet became frequent, i learn to drive so i get to hang out, and so my music deteriorates,  and soon, my spirit died too. i don't know what pushes me, but i think i deserve better. 
i should do more than music, get a degree, get a life, get recognize!

but there were doubts each time i watch any music related things, goosebumps are proof that i'm still hungry for it, question marks and an envious heart to be like one of them makes me think i'm still loving it. 
oh what should i do..almost 19 and still having thoughts on what will i study..

last friday, we went to watch After Earth! 
it was not bad, just that it's all centered at Jaden Smith, and Will Smith sitting on a chair doing nothing but using his voice. 
i always get the feeling this movie is only base on two actors all the time, which i'm pretty right, and which i frowned at the ending because it left me unsatisfied at it. 
they should show earth reborn again, that we still have hope living in it, and blah blah..

here's another love story

you know he's the one 
when he constantly accepts whatever flaws you have
you know he's the one 
when you spent most of your time thinking of him
you know he's the one
when you can't think of one good reason of leaving him
you know he's the one
when he still loves you even though you couldn't love him more~
you know he's the one
when all you can doodle on your notepad is you and him
you know he's the one
when you believe that even though marriage is still way ahead, but there's still someday you and him can walk down that aisle together~



  1. Hello ^ ^

    I had the same thought a few years ago. I couldn't find what I want.. I couldn't even imagine what I am going to do in the following year. It's frustrating if you imagine it that way. It's scary and somehow stressful.

    But one suggestion, ask yourself what do you like the most, and go with that, I think slowly the environment will guide you to somewhere you wouldn't even expect, XD a great and fun future

    Take it slow too! Somehow some people around us are grasping their future perfectly, but some are still just blur, like me~ Just enjoy your time <3

    The movie sounds flat, but I'm interested in watching that x)c

  2. It's always best to be oneself, Ann. Keep it up :) Smile more and be with friends. Enjoy :)

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  3. dont worry, am 19th and still blur @@

  4. Lovely and stunning as always!

    I do hope you are well <3

    following you now

    Danica Stark


  5. Thanks for your sweet words on my last post, they brightened my day!
    You will find your way, I'm sure!

    Hope you have a fantastic day,

  6. I love jaden smith :D


thanks for posting up comments ( : i will pay you a visit