I had always wanted to stay alone and had my own little room but i didn't expect it'll happen so soon. I'm thinking if i'm ready for it or not.
Yes, i finally got my internship after weeks of worrying. I got into a production company and the office is ah-mazing. The boss, the colleagues are very friendly and i had a nice little table with me on my own working alongside with all of them. It's only 3km away from where i rented so driving to there seem easier.
This is my cosy corner, i purposely went to kaison to buy the grill bar again because it is sooo instagrammable. i came across this tropical leaf carpet and bought it at once without thinking. the table is just temporary because i haven't got any much space to carry the big table with me yet.
I've decorated the walls from my bed so that every morning i wake up, i can see these amazing faces of my family and boyfriend. Unfortunately i really need a stronger tape because the fairy lights dropped down so many time. aiish
by the way, i've already felt the loneliness so hard because i'm staying with strangers. I do not know any of them and their dogs scares me. Practically the only space i have is my room which fortunately is pretty big (can sleep at least four people in here )
Boyfie came down to sent me off too together with my parents. I teared up when we bid goodbye although i know is insanely crazy to tear up because in another two days i be coming back for CNY. haha,
i just felt the sudden rush of loneliness, i never know i hated loneliness because i always like to do things alone. so this i how loneliness feel like. Is like you didn't even want to go out because you be eating alone in this strange new world.
not to mention, my parents are awfully worried because my housemates are mostly male, the dogs are really fierce, i'm staying alone, i had to drive, my work sometime requires me to stay up for 24 hours.
But it'll be 3 months. I tell myself, it's a challenge, it is something to face when you are growing up.
Not only that, i am also nervous because tomorrow my parents are going to take my medical report for me. I've been getting really nauseated and my panic attack keep coming in frequent each time i force myself to eat. I can't eat. I don't know what's wrong with me. I feel nauseous (note, that i am not pregnant, lol) my heart will beat fast and i starts to hyperventilate if i eat more than just a little bit.
I felt there is something wrong with my body
i'm worried
hope all is well
xoxo
Ann
