How to deal with panic attack

Hi , this is something unrelated to what i usually blog about, but it is related to me anyway

This happen 2 months ago, i can still remember clearly which date and what day it was because it was 3 days before Dan's birthday , ahaha

alright, it happen right after sitting in the car from Penang to Alor Star back, obviously i been traveling too much because that week i went to Penang three times ! 

i thought it was caffeine attack because i drank too much coffee and i felt very weird after drinking that.

I can still remember the first panic attack i have, i feel like the whole world is crumbling on my feet, i can't breathe, i had that kind of out of body sensation, i was so giddy i can't even walk, my whole body was shaking, jittering i need badly to squeeze something because i can't feel myself,my heart beat was so fast i thought i had a heart attack,  i felt like dying ):

my parents try to detoxify me with juice thinking that it was the caffeine effect, ya, i swallowed alot of liquid that night, and i slept like a zombie

the next day i went to see the doctor, we both thought it was just caffeine attack so he gave me palpitation pills to reduce my heart rate because it was still beating like a choo choo train . 

it settled down for one day i happily went Penang again .__. stupid me 

then it strike again the next day after working . i can't breathe much, damn, i hate that sensation i can feel it now when i type this. gahh

anyway the very next day we went to the hospital this time and did ECG, blood test and urine test, and everything is just positive. nothing is wrong with me and the doctor thought it was stress. 

i came back the hospital after one week of getting numerous attacks , it usually happen 3 times a day but i'm glad as days go by it reduced to once a day only (still it is unpredictable, like today, it actually strikes twice and i dread for it to happen again tonight)

anyway, after seeing him twice he refer me to another doctor and after that that doctor diagnose me with panic disorder ): 

yaya people would just say "you got panic meh?" "you panic what?"

i no panic ! thank you!

but he gave me a booklet that explains everything i need to know

"panic attacks may occur even if you are watching a movie, eating or even sleeping. The first attack may be triggered by something, and the next thing you know you are having several attacks later even though you are cleared off from any problems." 

then i googled alot and realize (see picture below)

and most of them deal with them for 5 to even 20 years
this is quite saddening to hear that i have to go through it for so long 
i was given medication but i had terrible side effects after consuming it, 
so i swore off medication and opt for exercising to help me breathe better
good thing is after exercising , my frequent attacks had been reduced 

1.ways to deal with your panic attack

they say you must breathe slowly and deeply

the more i try to breathe slowly and deeply, the more lightheaded i felt

i am totally hopeless in breathing properly

i just can't! if i concentrate too much i will faint.

this solution doesn't work for me

although some say it works like miracle 

this of course is bad advice

nah, they say you must ACCEPT it

yes don't fight it, don't hope for it to stop, don't wait for it to stop, don't say "please don't happen right now, i got important things to do"

instead sit and talk to yourself

errr if you're in public do it mentally

i think this helps in calming down, 

each time it happen to me, i just tell myself it will go off after 15-30 minutes (yes , mine is that long! )

that within this 15-30 minutes , they will not kill me

of course it will cause lots of discomfort

but they won't kill me

err i hope

haha

okay, i use to anticipate for the next attack to come

everytime i sit or do something vigorous, my mind seem to be playing tricks on me saying that "you shouldn't be doing this, you will have your attack soon!"

gaaah, anticipation will really disrupt your daily routine

i don't want to go out unless i'm going together with someone i can rely on

i don't wan to be alone because i'm afraid what if something happen to me and there is no one there to save me?

i did something amazing just now because i was alone and i had TWO panic attacks

seeing that there is nobody there and nobody to call to

i on  Youtube and search for "how to deal with panic attack naturally"

alot of video helps, and all the narrator are speaking calming advice to you

take that advice and apply it at what you are feeling right now

truth to be told, it went off after 5 minutes of listening to them

yes, it is still best to consult a doctor just to be sure. 
haha and he will give you all sorts of advice to control your attacks too
mine was breathing through a paperbag but i find it hard to do that~

so i'm just going to do it my way 
which is the slow way

which is 

1. Exercising 

2. Avoiding food that may cause heart palpitation like caffeine and alcohol

3. just sit and wait for it to go off after 15-30 minutes (: rather than freaking out and trying to push it away, i sit and then squeeze something to push any discomfort away. by squeezing something like a plush toy will avoid any out of body sensation and help you recover fast (, but that is my way anyway you can try it if you want) 

and please to outside people, panic disorder is not what schizophrenia sickness okay? i won't go running around with the knife trying to chop you apart. 

it's just something that your nervous system went wrong~

damn offended when people say i'm under depression or something or i will go around getting insane and heated up

what goes around comes around anyway

it's not something to make fun off anyway, 

you can laugh now

but can you laugh when you get it later on?

because studies show that 1 out of 75 people might experience it

hmmm

xoxo

Ann