Maxi dress with ribbon

 I need clothes..Clothes is like drugs to me, arrrrrghh..i haven't been shopping for clothes for what seems like a decade. I need it so badly now..i need it T.T

okok, i told myself don't be GIRLY, but here i am, == being girly again ..

bloggie, i'm back ! i'm back to rant about fashion again! i'm sorry for being sooo emo these days! Calvin Klein, i want you to know, we will be happy. WE MUST BE HAPPY. get it?? we had to be.

no, maxi dress had long outdated, i just got no clothes to snap already. This year is all about boyish and preppie looks. More towards androgynous (i think i spelt it wrongly, forgive me)

i just need to get loads of skinny pants (coloured), loose band tees, and oh yeah, i tell myself, THIS TIME, you must buy a brown oxford brogue before you buy any shoes.

i feel soooo much better today, feel elated perhaps, but a bit distraught that my hair turn out to be a disaster. it looks like highlight instead ><''

haiz, when will be my next shopping trip? when? if i'm lucky, i'll be able to have time to shop at KL when i'm there for my campus visit. Mid valley is near there, but i wanna go somewhere cheaper. SUNGEI WANG! lol..

i just realize, i should not be brand concious when all i care is wear once, snap once, and then throw once.

i know i'm sooo wasting, but i try to recycle one or two time, then i'm not going to wear it anymore (dresses)

ok, please look at my feet . JUST STARE AT IT. do you notice anything weird? it freak me out the first time i saw it. i look like i am having THREE LEGS! how on earth did i pose? how can my leg be criss cross in that kind of position!?

its soo weird, like the left leg (on your left) is an extra leg.

T.T

it's soooo FREAKIN SPOOKY!!!

okok..

enough about my ranting..

haha

how's my ribbon on my head?^^

guess i can't live without my ribbons..

Dress: shop@ queensbay

ribbon: kiosk @ queensbay

who's that zombie? ME

xoxo

Ann

Old town white coffee

 Our girl night out! later did i know that Nicole's gang came too out of nowhere!! it was such a coincidence and you can imagine how hilarious it was later on. It's like we own the whole place.
HAHAHAHAHA X1000000
then the whole building shake because we kept laughing our ass off

 Ann: WOI, TAN SANDY!! LOOK HERE, I WANT TO SNAP PHOTO!!!
Sandy: HAMI????

haha...wat an epic moment of expression

the girls of the night. From Left: Jesslyn Loh, Shireen Yong,Sandy Tan,Ann Tan(me), yingying lee, and Jovelle MJW...oh wait..where is summer leao?==

the theme for the night was BLACK AND WHITE..and i ended up wearing a red skirt. WOO~ i'm the odd one out

Peace! food was horrible as usual over there. The chicken looks sooo fleshy on the outside but it was nothing but flour and bones in the inside. My favourite Ice Polo bun had deteriorate the last time i ate it. Yuck, where's the smell of melted butter, there's nothing there..
at least their chocolate taste exactly what i imagine.

 i wanted so bad to hangout, if possible EVERYDAY. FRIENDS cheer me up, i just can't picture myself going to work now. I feel extremely lonely, i just don't know what to do overthere. i'm scared...T.T i'm lonely...and i know i'm acting like a baby now.

 Look at Ning's face..LMAO!

12th-13th i'm going down to KL to visit SEDAYA College ^^..we were set to meet with this guy MR BOON, and he is going to give us a tour around the campus. DO YOU KNOW FREAKING ICOM is MORE EXPENSIVE than any courses in Taylor University??! and it's only MUSIC, it's not like LAW, or MEDIC, it's just freakin MUSIC, and it's more expensive than any other courses..

so, ICOM was strike off the list, too much ==

ok..tomorrow i'm going to dye my hair marshmallow brown..

i'm going to concentrate more towards clothes to make myself happy

it just make me distracted for a while

i kept playing tetris..

tetris tetris until i vomit

==

xoxo

Ann

Destiny

 Destiny. Yes, you are right.
because this is our destiny, we CANNOT be together.
This was written in god's book..
when we are older i hope there's always still a chance..
but lets see what fate brought us to.
just like you say, we cannot see our future at all
let everyday be a surprise

why do i still constantly think of you T.T

Came back from Old Town and watch in awe to everybody talking about going to colleges, roomate with each other. I watch and hear in awe and envy..in my heart, i knew somehow they still prefer me to go form 6. Stpm cert is sooo much worth it than SPM cert. with STPM i can skip foundation (save Rm20,000), with STPM i can apply NUS, with STPM i can apply for many many things instead of wasting money to go study DIPLOMA..

but i watch in awe...and pure envy..
i want to be grown up like them too..
destiny..
destiny..
yeah...all about destiny..

long tank top: COTTON ON

xoxo
Ann

Healing process

 today, i'm going to a girl night out at OldTown!
after crying what seems like eternitiy yesterday,
i want to feel great, i want to feel happy
not happy because he's out of my life
but happy because i let him out of my misery
dear, tell me you WILL be okay, right?
haiz, already no more, but i still yearn to hear him say "it's ok,baby, nvmind"

 gosh, my eyes are wet now. Stop thinking back the memories!!! STOP WEI ANN, STOP!!! I don't want to go to work! I HATE GOING TO WORK WITHOUT HIS TEXTS!!! i just feel so lonely each time...there's nobody to talk to, there's nobody there...i guess life have to move on, it's just sooo fuck up right now. Dad said if i do good things, there will always be a blessing behind it.
i hope dad's right. I bit my fingers to stop myself from texting him

 when i was 5-6 years old == with my sister and sister's godsister..wow..so complicated.
T.T
when i am sad, i tend to go find EVERY single people that i know to chat. I don't care what stuff they talk about, chatting helps to distract myself, i kept playing tetris battle, THAT helps too.

 and looking at my sister, yar, thats her. SHE GIVES ME HOPE..
(i think she will have a big fat monkey grin right now)
her life is sooo smooth right now
(even though her work is soooo fuck up too)
i want to be like her, i want to end up like her, i want to have the glow she has right now.
and yeah, she's 7 yrs older than me, i have to wait for a very LONG year to reach her state.
so, she's a convent girl, went to KTAR for accounting
went to England for Master
went to KL for her first work
then currently at Singapore.

 BUT I DON"T WANT TO TAKE FORM 6 just for the STUPID sake to get into NUS which i don't even know if i can get in or not. I DON"T WANT TO TAKE NON-SENSICAL subjects that are not even relevant to the field that i want to study.

so life in singapore is sooo amazing right? (despite the fact that the expenses can be a bore)
i want to study there, stay there, live there, work there..
even if i can't manage singapore, i go KL..
i don't care,
i don't wanna be in ALOR STAR at all..
(i'm acting like a bitch right now, ain't i?)

still think that my life is sooo fuck up..
sooooooooo fuck up!
good, i used sooo many bad words today..
if parents were to read my blog, they ban their children from reading it

and oh yeah ^^ i drove to Tesco yesterday
imma growing up

xoxo
Ann

ICOM (international college of music)

 The International College of Music (ICOM), Kuala Lumpur, is Asia Pacific's leading music college focusing on contemporary music. The ICOM music education experience is an integration of theoretical knowledge and practice of skills in various aspects of music. This includes the music production school, the music business school, the performance and music arranging school.

 

This is my toy ^^

this is the recording studio..is that an equalizer? thats a lot, man!, an audio engineer needs to study it, use it and work on it. Somehow i look at it and say, its no different than the one the pilot use to play in each plane. It's EQUALLY a LOT! well, this is music and audio technology, and you had to have a very very good ear to listen to every speck of sound produce. Woo~ if i can master it, i can drive a plane (though it's not relevant at all)

This is the Keyboard laboratory. (dont ask me why is a drumset doing in a keyboard lab). after browsing through all the pictures, i made a huge conclusion to this college, the classes are SMALL, not like other colleges where they dump 50-80 students in one hall. These are all small groups of classes scarttered all around the building. heck, i really wanna go tour this college.

doors to your various classes. ICOM is ONLY good in CONTEMPORARY music, which is what i am good at (or so they say i am), they join venture with Berklee College of Music in United States and had develop aspiring musicians in the showbiz. i saw the course fees...whoo~ cost as much as a house, i wonder how my family is going to pay for it. It's just absurb..and there's no accomodation in this college, you have to FIND one yourself. they assist you, but the nearest condominium was 10 minutes away (walking distance) to that college.

anyway, just push aside the cons. This is the synthesiser lab. i love this, coz you get to hear and create lovely beats around you.

uhuh! THAT is an equalizer..lol! can't differenciate it, anyway, you must pass the audition test to get into the college. i saw their theory test..>< it's kiddie at the start and then gets real hard till the end, i really need to brush up my theory even though i loathe it.

there's still a lot of researching to do, next research is UCSI (sedaya college), two of my seniors were already there studying music, so that won't be a great obstacle to overcome eh?

just that UCSI mainly focus on CLASSICAL music, not CONTEMPORARY. I SUCK at classical (like sooo suckish till i fail my piano). But their campus looked way much better than this, more standard i guess..but looks can be deceiving rite?

xoxo

Ann

Broke up

The first thing you remember each time you broke up with someone is your best friends. when you are in love, you tend to ignore them, but when love doesn't come to you, you want them soo badly.

It's not easy at all, god is always always watching. The amount of being found out by my family makes me REALLY believe that god REALLY exist.

I can't stand the pressure at home no more. Being in Alor star make me think of him, everywhere i go, i hear his footsteps. so, i made one final decission, left him once and for all. My family loathe him. In my lifetime now, there are three people that are blacklisted from my family. Two are girls(don't bother asking why) The pain to see that he is now blacklisted too, it's best that he find his own happiness instead of suffering it with me.

i delete, i deleted everything. and i want to go to College, going to study something that i LIKE, will make me concentrate on it and forget about LOVE.

All those promises are broken. He will hate me i know. i've already hate myself for bringing you into my FUCK UP life. There is no fate between us no more. If there's really fate, how come i don't bump into you? How come you don't appear out of nowhere? no, we don't have fate and we must accept the fact that our future together is a BLACK HOLE.

here's Ann how to tell herself to forget the horrendous pain she had right now

•  I bought Liese bubble hair colour, i'm going to try it today to keep me distracted
• i'm going to be a couch potato
• i'm going to do more research on Singapore Polytech since it offer Music and Audio technology
• I'm going to be excited over SPM result day
• i'm going to make mental notes over career guidance,where i wanna be in the future and how much would i get
• i'm going to socialize more, by talking and chatting makes me happy

forget about Canon G12 or Lumix gf-2.. if i'm going to singapore to study, i might need that money badly. and guess what, they really CONSIDER enrolling me into International College of Music (ICOM)!!!!!!!

shit..that is my DREAM college..getting in is like a DREAM COME TRUE...T.T

one thing for sure, if i continue to stick around here, dead alor star, i will constantly think of him, constantly think of the cage i'm living in, and constantly think of what FUCK up life i have.

there..i'm now single but NOT available.

xoxo

Ann

Angry

I get my full February pay today, and guess what? i get sooooo F*king piss off today. It's ENOUGH that they didn't let me buy a smartphone, i can understand that maybe they don't know how to open it when they check on my phone. BUT CAMERA!?!?!?!?!

like seriously, what can camera do? sent text messages and make phone calls? *sarcastic*

This is my 15 yrs old picture.

cried just now after bursting out at the unfairness of my urge of buying a new semi-pro camera for camwhoring. Its my own money! mY HARD PAY WORK, i didn't ask for any god damn of your money! I SAVE MY MONEY FOR A REASON! FOR A PURPOSE!!! and what has become of it? for nothing? for college purpose? that's all crap, i WILL NEVER go to college! BECAUSE YOU GUYS just COULDNT TRUST ME AT ALL!!!

This is the book that i'm reading. Bible of numbers that count of your destiny and stuff..

whatever, i really feel horrible. Like soo piss off and sooooo

i don't even know having a boyfriend is a CRIME. I DON"T KNOW THAT!! I thought as long as SPM is over, i'm 18, this is OKAY!

but i didn't know it's wrong, so when you told me that why i always create problem, it's because I DON"T KNOW i'm creating problem!! I thought it is FINE!!!It's NORMAL, but no, conservative thinking makes them think i'm going to get myself pregnant or something..

I LOATHE my MESSY LIFE!! I LOATHE IT!!! ALL I WANT TO DO IS JUST GET OUT OF THIS!! BE SOMEONE ELSE!!!

my stats. pretty cool though but i'm still targeting 300 viewers per day. guess i have to work hard on it.

this is what happen to a girl locked up in her house for more than 3 yrs. yeap, now you're worrying what would happen when you let me get out of the house. You worry i go crazy because i got the taste of freedom which i HAD NEVER tasted it before. this is what happen, THIS IS WHAT HAPPEN..

DO YOU THINK I"M SOOOO BLOODY STUPID..

you said i'm naive, you pity i'm soooo gullible, easily cheated.

YOU TREAT ME LIKE A CHILD!

I HATE IT!! I HATE HATE HATE HATE IT!..

words cannot describe my feeling, i'm no longer a child!

i hate my life, i hate it sooo much, its like everything i do, THEY are the one that plan it all for me. Can't for once i made MY OWN decission??

oh yeah, nobody can EVER understand my story. A girl who was grounded at home, with no handphone, no hang out, no fb for 2++ yrs, no internet for 1++yrs, ..they say i created the problem myself, good, and their punnishment for me is Too extreme.

and one stupid question asked "why do you need camera for!!?"

" TO SNAP MY FACE!"

their own daughter, they don't even know what i like.. I told them i want to be a famous blogger, what is their reaction? *blank*

nothing, and you said i didn't want to let them know me better.

You don't even give a damn! you don't even want to know what the hell is that. and all you care is your face of what would happen if i posted indecent picture up facebook. INDECENT?!? did i show my cleavage? NO, did i reveal any parts that a bikini doesn't cover? NO!!!! 

I'm so sick of it..SO SICK! If my sister is reading this, can she even comprehend what i want to say? WHAT I AM FEELING NOW?

no!

coz nobody ever does!!!

the answer is all nononononono

my FUCKING LIFE IS SOOOO MESSED UP!

is enough that you took away my teenage years, i'm growing up to be a woman, so treat me like ONE!!! don't ever say that i have just create a problem, that problem if viewed by million of other parents, they don't call it a PROBLEM at all.

BUT FINE, you made the rules, i have to obey it, but don't because of that, continue to tighten my freedom.

IT"S ENOUGH ALREADY! IMMA GROWING CRAZIER AND CRAZIER EACH DAY.

I"M 18!!!!!!!

EIGHTEEN! EIGHTEEN!!!!

enough is enough

xoxo

Ann

Camwhores of the street

whassup guys,  here's Wei ying expensive Armani Exchange Sunglasses which broke a leg that day..WOots~

here we are at MCDOnald to grab my favourite oreo mcflurry.

sexy yee only stick for 15 minutes and she had to leave..leaving us

(look down)

SNAP SNAP SNAP..using Ann pro skill in self-timer.

and do you know how we make the camera stand until our expected level? we took all our handphones, stack it on top of each other, and then place my camera on all four phones and *click* click*click*

There was a joke

what would happen if we were all posing for the camera, suddenly a passerby just swipe all four phones and one camera at one shot and ran away. imagine the word 'shock' slap on our faces..



 and there was an extend =.='' where i went over to the rubbish chute, place my camera there and try to adjust the angle..seriously, that was really too much

so we got a mcdonald staff to snap a picture for us too (up there)

 This is ridiculous! like SUPER RIDICULOUS!!! LIKE SOOO HILARIOUS and RIDICULOUS!! guess where is it? you know the side of the escalator where they normally had glasses? yeap, it was wei ying idea since we're searching places to snap. So, here we are right infront of the food court, wearing the thickest skin we had and snap pictures of ourselves, with our backside facing those astonish onlookers.

This is becoming more ridiculous as i said so. We walk to the back lane in search of a good spot for pictures, found a remote cafe with the tables placed outside. we took a second look to make sure the owners didn't know that we borrowed their tables as my camera stand. woots, and we ended up squatting like we are pooping..=.=''

Super RIDICULOUS!!

Ann: where else? find the LAST spot!

Jimmy: POPULAR!!

Ying: KIA!! LETS GO!

Andy: *cover his face in embarassment*

and we did it, probably the first group to snap a group pictures among a bunch of books, directly infront of the CCTV. I can imagine those people behind that CCTV laughing their asses off,

here's what they would think "Look at those bunch of craps taking photos! HAHAHAHAHA" and their asses fell off and laugh too.

><

oh yeah, there was also one RIDICULOUS moment where we purposely took the lift to snap in there. But there was no fake camera stand there and Andy suggested to hang my camera up the lift ceiling and snap from there.

Like seriously, are you that tall for that?

><

and i remember lift had cctv too, we'll be a youtube sensation if we do that, (hang camera at the ceiling and expect a wobbling camera to snap a shot of ourselves) wow..*sarcasm*

Anyway, it was ridiculously fun..

HOHOHO

keep laughing like hell that day..

xoxo

Ann

Bowling again

Went bowling again, but this time with a whole different company. From left: Jimmy, Andy, Wei ying, me and Chiu Yee (not in pic)

so it started out first, i and wei ying wanna hang out together, we first wanna go e-box, sing karaoke, but then, nobody seem to want to join us..

so here we are, BOWLING

Its really akward !! we had nobody else wanting to join us, so i called andy to go. Then i think to myself, ohmygod, what had i get myself into, i don't talk to him..and he'll be surrounded by unknown girls. So i call my buddy friend, Jimmy, since they're both frm the same school, i guess he can keep him company. Then i went out of hand, call, Chiu yee, and nicole too..

later nicole pull out =.=''

Sexy chiu yee: *mati king kong kiao*

Ann: *pout lips in grimace*

So only four of us ended up bowling at a SUCK-ish lANE that always had falling bowling pins all the time. But it was fun cam-whoring! From total akwardness, we finally blend in together.

and from bowling, we become CAMWHORES of the place..

(well, later i shall post up more pictures, but let's start at bowling first)

Sexy Chiu yee doesn't like snapping photos.she shy shy arh..

and she ended up going back early, leaving us to camwhore all over the place..

anyway, leave that part empty first, let me continue the bowling part..

as usual, i simply simply throw also manage to bounce a few pins off, making the boys groan in demand for justice..

So here's the result..

tadaaa

VERY VERY FREAKIN LOW, (except Andy's)

I KNOW

from top: Ann, wei ying, Jimmy(oh yeah, at least i score more than him), and andy..

ffuuuu...i've been to bowling like four times in one month already, and i still throw like i'm throwing a coconut down the runway..

which still works for me =.=''

but the camwhoring part didn't start yet!!

just wait till i post it up tomorrow..!

oh yeah!

xoxo

Ann